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Title:  Voor Elise Artist:  Miriam de Waard Label:  Staalplaat Format:  mCD Price:  € 1.00   Mp3 samples:   1

Title Description:

Vital Review:

MIRIAM DE WAARD - VOOR ELISE (mCD as a Private Release, but you can buy
it)

Of course it's not news anymore is it - our erstwhile and tenacious
editor-in-chief and mensch-uber-alles has, together with his charming and
unshort wife, realised one of the most important releases of his career.
And no, it's not this CD, rather it's the underlying cause behind this
new, tiny pink thing that I am referring to - her (for it is female) name
is, surprise, surprise Elise Charlotte Sophie and she was hatched on 3
May this year. So if you haven't sent a congratulatory cheque yet, you
better get a move on.

The anxious parents-to-be obviously copped a look early on and established
the sprog's gender so that they could cunningly decide on a name and
sculpt a composition using some of the frightening little tools midwives
carry around with them.

Her foetal heart beats, suspended in a rich amniotic ocean - steady, with
the certainty only cellular mitosis can know, cloaked in her mother's
reassuring and regular breathing. The classical melody drifts in, looped
at first, then released in a spurt of birth to fulfill it's melodic
destiny.

Little furry objects and stuff that squeak are rubbed and rattled against
the microphone, while the bulging mum gainly struggles to coax the
charming little ditty out of her melodica - if you know what I mean. More
fidgeting as a musical crib-thing playing the theme slowly winds down to
rest again, and we sink back into the succulent sound of a gooey,
squishy, relentlessly pulsing, though very tiny (sooooooo tiny, can you
imagine - the same size as the top of your pinky, goddammit) ventricles.
(Isn't nature wonderful).

Weighing in at 4375 grams (metric, you imperially challenged bastards!)
this new release by Frans and Miriam de Waard is probably good enough to
eat. (It's comments like these that keep them from keeping me away from
the recently offsprung spring.) Gorgeously packaged in new skin which
smells of secrets and slumber.

More respect for them, they're fertile, fer chrissakes ! (MP)